Livestrong

Livestrong Day is Friday, October 2nd. This was the day that Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with his cancer diagnosis. I love Lance and all that he has done for cancer and have thought numerous times about trying to go and work for him. You also know how cancer has changed my life and literally turned it upside down. I wear a Livestrong bracelet in memory of my dad everyday. Drew even has one!

I encourage you to wear yellow on Friday. We all know someone who has had cancer and unfortunately we all know someone who has died from it.

Wear yellow in memory of someone lost or in honor of those who kicked cancer's ass!

Rattlesnake

So, the other night Craig and Drew went dove hunting on my in-laws land. Drew has been a few times and loves his daddy time and really enjoys watching the dogs get the birds.
Well, this week they came home and Drew had a rattle in his hand to show me. Of course, I freaked out at first! All I could think of was this mean snake by my baby! Craig assured me that the snake was very far away from my 2 boys. Uncle Willard shot it (his 3rd or 4th this summer I believe) and then took it to Drew to show him what a rattler looks like. I was very proud of the men...they completely used it as a teachable moment. They "coiled" the (headless) snake up and told Drew that is what they look like right before they strike. They shook the rattle so he could hear what it sounds like. Our dogs would not go near the dead snake. Then Grandpa cut the rattle off for Drew.
Drew was pretty excited about his new rattle and wanted to take it to school the next day. He told his teachers and friends about it for the morning news. All the kids got to shake the rattle. It was exciting for all. Except it gave his teachers the chills! And Mommy too!

soccer boy

Drew started soccer! We had our first practice last Thursday. Craig and I are coaching together (still not sure that was a good idea!). He is loving it so far and we have our first game this weekend. At first he was saying that he didn't want to play, but after we got all the "stuff" for him he was ready!

11 years

How do you explain to a 4 year old where their "Pops" is and why he will never meet him? How do you explain cancer? What it is, what is does, who gets it?
How do you handle all those milestones in your children's lives knowing your father is missing out on all of them. Each of my boys' birthdays are hard, every holiday, and literally every milestone, whether it is walking, talking, playing sports, sleepovers, everything and anything they do my dad is in the back of my mind.
I'm constantly thinking about how our lives would be different, better, if he were here with us. Would he have put a pool in our childhood home for them? Added space for a playroom? How often would we go to Waco and let them spend the night? I know that my dad would have been an amazing, wonderful, fun, loving, giving grandfather. We would have called him "Pops" because he was just fun that way!
I remember when I was going off to college, moving to College Station, and how proud of me he was...even though I was going to Texas A&M! I was so scared to leave home because he had already been diagnosed, and I knew it wasn't good. He told me that he was going to live long enough to put green jello in my kids' hair. He of course did not live that long, and I can't tell you how many times I have thought of that conversation, and I just have to smile because I know he would have been that kind of "Pops"!
My boys will always be aware of him. They will always say "goodnight to Pops up in Heaven." We will celebrate his birthday with cupcakes. His memory will stay alive in my heart and in theirs. He truly was the best man I have and will ever know. No one will ever compare to the man he was. He left behind a legacy and I'm so proud that he was my Daddy. After 11 years, it is not easier on this day. Well, I guess I can't say that. I guess it is easier, I just stay very busy.
Don't tell me that he is in a better place and he is not in pain anymore. I know that, but I still want him here. I want him here. I want him healthy. I want him to know my kids, my niece, my husband, my sister in law. He has 2 grandsons, 1 granddaughter, and I'm sure more to come. They are all missing out on a wonderful man. It is sad. We deal with it. It is hard, but we deal with it.
So, on this day I ask you. Hug, call, email, text, whatever, your dads. Tell them you love them and are lucky to have them. I can't do that. I still want to pick up the phone and talk to him. I absolutely hate cancer and it makes me sick to think of all the families and lives this dreaded disease has destroyed. Where is the cure? Why haven't we found it? Please join the fight against cancer. Go to www.livestrong.com or www.standup2cancer.org if you wanna help.